And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
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Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
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