U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trust falling into bushes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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