Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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