isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
where are my eyebrows?
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