i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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