This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You ruined the universe
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