Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
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I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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