yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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