Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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