Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize