my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Send help, water and tortillas.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize