my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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