problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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