all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
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All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize