dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize