FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize