She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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