there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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