That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize