So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
two words: eviction party
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it's great music for shaving your balls
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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