So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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