he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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