Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize