we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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