But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
His nipple licking is glorious
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