girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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