I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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