I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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