even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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