Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize