Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize