I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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