If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
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And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
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5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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