Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Can't talk, ducks in the car
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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