just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
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so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
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Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm always down for nudity.
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