mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize