I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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