Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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