Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
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the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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