Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
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