My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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