Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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