I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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