Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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