ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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