I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
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