i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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