hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize