What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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