I CAN MOONWALK!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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